According
to Mary

Engaging in BDSM practices can sometimes induce feelings of guilt and shame, especially during the drop phase after play sessions. These feelings can affect Domme or sub.

These emotions arise from the societal taboos and stigma around sexuality, deep rooted religious conditioning and past lived personal experiences.

Everybody has strange sexual urges, some completely repress them, some supress and let out occasionally, some let their lives be run by them, but everyone still has them.

Normalizing discussions around these emotions and urges is essential to combat shame and foster acceptance and understanding.

It’s also important to recognize that these thoughts are transient as chemicals shifts in the body cause different thought patterns.

We are currently witnessing a new wave of sexual revolution, and I am proud to be part of it laying a solid foundation where people can feel open and free in their sexual expressions and pave the way for others.

Every individual’s desires are unique, contributing to the beautiful diversity of human sexuality, and I don’t believe anyone needs to feel shame, ever.

Finding a balance between embracing desires and chasing them is a delicate task. Venturing too far in one direction can trigger feelings of guilt and shame, from repression to excess.

Excessive ejaculation can overall contribute to guilt and shame as your body feels depleted of its vital life force. Mantak Chia a Taoist master and advocate of Taoist sexual practices, promotes the idea of semen retention as a means to enhance one’s overall health and well-being. He provides more information how often it is healthy for males to ejaculate based on age and health and I highly recommend his teachings to any male.

**If you ejaculate excessively, it is good practice to let Your Domme know, she will take control of the situation, encouraging you to be a healthier man.

The taboo nature of BDSM can also be simultaneously a powerful turn-on and a fear, which results in a chemical cocktail of emotions and sensations within the body.

Having an emotionally intelligent Domme who can engage in conversations about these emotions is vital for the process. I encourage my submissives to speak up if they experience guilt or shame, as being held and supported in these feelings is a crucial step toward overcoming the power and charge of these emotions. Encouraging honest communication is essential.

Online forums can be incredibly helpful, particularly if you’re not part of a local BDSM scene. I’ve personally found Ms. Elle’s community to be an excellent source of community and information. Additionally, I highly recommend Mistress Damiana Chi’s conscious kink community—a sex-positive, judgment-free safe space for self-expression.

Incorporating proper aftercare practices can reduce the intensity of sub drop and lengthen the feel good feels, supporting emotional well-being.

Here are some practical steps to consider:

1. Hydrate well after a session and avoid consuming alcohol for the remainder of the day.
2. Nourish your body with a nutritious meal, focusing on protein to replenish energy.
3. Take a bath with Epsom salts to replenish magnesium levels and promote relaxation.
4. Allow yourself time for rest and quiet reflection to process the session’s experience.Lastly, I encourage my submissives to reach out to me via email the day after a session and express their feelings honestly. This open and transparent communication helps build trust.

Overall approaching BDSM from a holistic perspective gives space for both therapeutic effects and erotic play.