Charlotte Douleur

Name Change

While some are born to be free, others are born into bondage.

I am the first.

I am a free person.

I am not and will not be owned or controlled by anyone and declare myself sovereign in as many ways as I can so that I can live my life in a way that is most meaningful and based on values I believe to be true.

My European ancestors landed from Europe to start a new life here in the UK in the 1900s and chose a name to begin this new chapter that represented that.

When learning about my ancestry this winter, it felt so true to change my current vanilla name and pick up their name because being nomadic and a free person it represented my values more fully.

It is the name from the matriarchal line of my paternal lineage.

Changing the name that I was given at birth, that upon deeper inspection meant ‘son of’ and represented oppression rooted in colonialism, patriarchy, and other archaic systems, I desire to be sovereign from.

My father and grandfathers are honest and honorable men. This has set my standards for all men who enter my life, whether it is subs or lovers.

The name change does not come from wounding or dad issues. It was chosen because I am choosing to live my life in a new way, a way that will benefit all of society, not only my immediate family.

I have now set the intention for myself and my predecessors: ‘we are free people, we have a choice’.

Beginning a new lineage, with me as the first.

When the time comes, the father of my children may join us and join our family and lineage if it feels true.

I will never take a man’s name because I believe men should not be leading. Men were made for war. Men were made to be workhorses.

The woman, made to raise families, the vessel to birth new life, the oracle that sees and knows more than man ever will, should lead the family because they have more capacity to see the wider vision that will benefit the whole unit and beyond.

This relates to Mary’s brand because I have intensely focused energy and learning on the meanings of names for some time.

I see the higher vision of how I can be most potent in my practice while staying true to who I am through the name.

I am committed to staying in integrity with my work and observe when I play out shadow without judgment.

I am also making the conscious decision to drop any words that may be shadowbanned on the internet and hinder the online growth process.

Moving forward, I am losing the honorific Mistress as it no longer feels true.

All my subs shall call me ‘Mary’, unless told otherwise.

The name ‘Mary’ itself holds so much power because of how many ‘Mary’s’ have walked before me.

From the first virgin.

To the first whore.

Mer; Of the sea. Keeper of Primordial Waters.

Mermaid; First woman to walk from water to land.


The First.




Photo taken by Charlotte Douleur

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